27th July 2009
Short Breaks Can Be Stressful if Expectation Is Too High
You know the scene — a glamorous couple, sipping champagne on a golden beach as the setting sun engulfs them, peaceful, contented and fulfilled, while their beautiful children sleep the sleep of the angels.
Images such as this sell short breaks, although for most, turning this image into reality is elusive.
For decades the holidaying millions have deluded themselves that this was reality not fantasy. A recent survey in Glamour magazine shows that about one third of couples argue on holiday by the second day and statistics show divorce rates soar in September, after the holiday season is over. Many return from their annual break tired, angry and frustrated. Yet unwinding away from work is essential for physical and mental wellbeing and for family relationships.
One of the problems is that men and women have different expectations of holidays. In general men like activity whereas women choose inactivity. Then there is the anticipation of luxury that the brochure or online photos promote — often a false promise that produces disappointment. It’s not just the holiday itself that is less than perfect, getting there can also be a challenge as airports are inhospitable, overcrowded and expensive places that require patience and organisation to negotiate.
Couples
Ordinarily most couples spend only a few hours in each others’ company every day due to the pressure of work, yet on vacation they are thrown together for long periods and inevitably have little to talk about. The dream of sharing an intimate dinner and exchanging loving glances across the candle lit table is more likely to be marked by boredom and silence.
The travel industry has devoted much time to studying the elements that make for a good holiday and most of these make intuitive sense. Specific benefits have been shown from holidaying in a place with warm temperatures, having time for oneself and for meeting one’s own needs, engaging in some physical activity, having good quality of sleep and making new acquaintances. For many couples this is the antithesis of how they spend, or believe they should spend, their holiday as they strive for faux togetherness and inactivity or alternatively relentless action. Surprisingly the feelings of recuperation and renewal peak in the first week, so long holidays may not be a beneficial as several shorter breaks.
